Life's Unexpected Adversities
I don’t know why I’m shocked when I hear stories about tragedy, it happens every day. I suppose it’s a coping method. We all want to live a safe life, but that is not necessarily the best life. It’s in the tragedies that you can find growth, strength, perspective, empathy, and experience. Without the hard stuff, we wouldn’t have a true sense of these understandings.
I try hard to protect my family from harm, we do that because more than anything we just want our loved ones to be healthy and happy. Watching someone you love go through something traumatic does not feel good. It’s scary, sad, and overwhelming. When you are in it, it can feel like life will never be good again. Why did this happen to me? Why did this happen to my child? No answer feels satisfying.
After Zack (age 15) broke his neck and became quadriplegic, I thought my family was in a sense safe from tragedy. Then my daughter (age 11) was diagnosed with diabetes, a lifelong disease that affects her daily. I thought "Okay, two of my kids have dealt with life altering changes that seems like a fair number of challenges in one family" but then, my two middle boys who have always been a pleasure to raise and given me no problems, both sweet and helpful, experienced intense mental health issues. One son (age 14) sustained from extreme anxiety that went on for over five years. It was so debilitating he had to withdraw from regular high school and finish in an alternative way. My other son (19) normally calm, caring, adventurous got hit with depression which felt like happened overnight. His entire personally shifted and it’s been an ongoing battle for years.
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My life has not been what I expected it to be. Yet now at age 50, I look back and many of my life’s trials, I would not take back. When I was 14, my house burned down, we moved three times in a year, and I switched schools. I was the new girl, had no friends, and felt very insecure. My parents divorced later that year and my dog was killed by a speeding car that never even stopped. I developed an eating disorder and tried alcohol and drugs to cover up my pain. I sometimes worked two jobs during high school and my grades suffered. Eventually, I did meet friends and we are still friends to this day. I tried college but dropped out after a year and worked full-time instead. I met my husband on my eighteenth birthday and we married a year and half later. My life slowly moved into a more positive direction, especially when I found out I was pregnant with my first child (Zack).
I’ve experienced physical and mental health issues. The death of a close friend, family members dying of cancer and the sudden tragic loss of my baby niece. It’s been nine years since her death and that one is still difficult. She left behind a twin brother (who is like a son to me). His life shows signs of her missing because he was meant to have a sister. So, we will experience unexpected adversities, it’s called life.
I think about Zack when I’m feeling down. He struggles physically everyday but maintains his mental strength. He says he cannot afford to entertain a pity-party and sticks to the decisions that are best for him. Zack has been an amazing example of actions really do speak louder than words.