How Does My Trauma Impact My Current Behavior?
Surviving a traumatic injury or witnessing a loved one go through a traumatic injury can be extremely overwhelming, and it can change our behavior going forward. Individuals diagnosed with paralysis and their family members know this firsthand. We may develop behaviors that served us well at the time but now hinder our ability to form healthy relationships or cope with stressors in a more adaptive way. These new, learned behaviors are considered trauma responses.
By definition, trauma responses are the patterns that persist in our lives after experiencing a traumatic event. Sometimes they are not easy to identify. We may not even recognize that our behaviors are born from traumatic experiences earlier in life. It’s important to understand how your trauma shapes current thoughts, feelings, and behaviors so that you can heal from the negative effects of trauma and feel more empowered to lead a fulfilling life.
Let’s talk about some examples.
Defensiveness. Sometimes being very quick to defend yourself can be tied to your past trauma. For example, if you felt helpless during your traumatic injury that led to paralysis, you may have a tendency to be on high alert and hypervigilant of your surroundings now. If this feels familiar, remember that your trauma is valid, and it is understandable that you might feel this way. Healing might include practicing mindfulness and social skills to help you feel safe and relieved from the burden of having to defend yourself.
Over-Analyzing. Sometimes when we over-analyze, it comes from our past trauma of being negatively impacted by a sudden life disruption. You might over-analyze because you are trying to prepare for every possible outcome today, so you are not caught off guard like you were in the past. Healing from this kind of trauma might include practicing radical acceptance and letting go of control, which is certainly not easy, but it may help you feel less anxious.
Low Distress Tolerance. When people experience trauma, their central nervous system is hurt, and sometimes it can make people feel less capable of managing other distressing experiences, even those to a lesser degree. For example, if you feel defeated by past trauma, you may also feel defeated in other parts of your life. Healing from this kind of trauma might include practicing distress-tolerance skills such as those associated with dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) and rebuilding self-confidence and belief in your capabilities again.
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Difficulty Showing Emotions. Some people have difficulty showing emotions due to past trauma experiences. Healing from trauma that has diminished your ability to express emotions might include practicing emotional expression in safe environments, such as with your closest friends or family, or with a therapist, to then later transfer those skills to other environments over time.
Detachment. Sometimes people with trauma detach themselves from experiences as a protective measure. They refrain from opening up to others or getting close to people out of fear that they may be misunderstood. People living with spinal cord injuries may especially feel this way due to others’ lack of knowledge about disability issues. Healing might include strengthening your skills for sharing your authentic self with others and developing a sense of empowerment to educate people about paralysis to build mutual understanding. It may also be helpful to explore how refraining from opening up to others is holding you back from the intimacy and connection that you might crave. Talking about this with people you trust can be significantly healing.
No matter your trauma responses, you are valid. It can be painful to look back and realize the ways that it has affected your current thoughts and behaviors, but healing is possible. It’s possible to recover from trauma and make small changes in your life now that will bring you to a much happier, healthier state.