The To-Do List is not your Enemy

I glance around my house and see everything that needs to be done, that never-ending to-do list. I seem to get the bare minimum done, but the bigger things tend to sit for a while. Eventually, I get the satisfaction of crossing things off, but then more projects get added, so it’s a never-ending cycle. My expectations are too high, or I add too much to my plate. I acknowledge there is no arrival to a magical place with no chores. These mundane tasks are simply part of life. Why is it so hard for me to accept this?

I’m often interrupted, which happens when you have children and, in my case, a son living with paralysis. It's not Zack’s fault he needs help and I know that he would rather do all these things for himself and not have to depend on others. It feels like just when I tackle one situation; another pops up. Am I the only one who feels like my adult life consists of ongoing problem-solving? Why can’t I ever get caught up?

I think it’s my mindset. I do good for a while, accepting my daily tasks and then I start sliding backward, wishing for the day when I wake up with nothing on my to-do list. My natural tendency is to see the realistic and practical sides of things. I have been in training to teach myself to look for the positive twist intentionally. It can be done; I’ve watched my son do this. He can look at situations and see the good instead of the bad. He makes it look easy. Even after all these years, I’m still impressed by the way he views things, and his life reflects the benefits of having that positive mind. I overthink and analyze everything, whereas Zack does not. These traits are not necessarily bad; for example, overthinking & analyzing are good traits to have when you are researching something or trying to learn a new skill, but it’s a negative trait when something has already happened, and you keep trying to change the outcome.

I understand the difference between what you can and cannot change. Sounds simple enough, but it’s hard. As a mother, I want my kids to be healthy, safe and happy. Yet, it’s the difficult things in their lives that grow them. When I reflect on the hard times in my life, I wouldn’t take them back; those things taught me lessons I wouldn’t have learned otherwise. So, when I see my children struggling, I feel for them, I take on their pain, but I try to hold onto the fact that this is just regular life happening and good can grow from that tough stuff.

I hear myself tell them it’s ok not to be caught up, and accept that the chores will always be there tomorrow. On a good day, I can be grateful for those chores. On the complaining days, I remind myself of my own advice. That to-do list does not have to be your enemy. Truthfully, I get great satisfaction crossing things off that list.