The Outsiders
Welcome to Pride Month! This is the month set aside for LGBTQ+ people to step out into the light and say loudly and proudly who they really are. Many individuals do this all year long, but after so many years of discrimination and targeted hate, it always feels like a breath of fresh air. This year, as non-binary and trans kids are being bullied and beaten every day, when other trans people are being brutally killed, when drag queens are being harassed, and anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is being passed in many states, it is more important than ever to be out and proud. “Coming out” as LGBTQ+, or as a person with a disability, is the single most powerful way we have to fight discrimination. It is harder to hate someone you know and love, or others like them.
There is much the disability community has learned from the LGBTQ+ community, and vice versa. Both communities are often treated as outsiders, somehow separate from the “norm”. Both have had to fight for our rights, and both have far to go to achieve true equality.
It has been written that the LGBTQ+ community achieved our rights more quickly than those who fought other civil rights battles. And while the progress from being labeled a mental disorder to marriage equality and some legal protections did happen within my lifetime, it did not feel quick or easy. Similarly, the disability community fought for decades before the ADA was passed, and it was never easy. We have learned the hard way that change does not come easily, but that it will come if we keep working and keep pressing for our rights. But we also have learned that our accomplishments have not solved all the problems of discrimination or equal access.
Discrimination takes many forms, and I am sure every one of us has stories to tell about our own experiences. Every wheelchair user I know has been unable to use a bathroom that did not have an automatic opener, been turned away from a restaurant that has no accessible entry or have had their chair damaged (or destroyed) on an airline flight. And every LGBTQ+ person I know has had to explain to a doctor that the person with them is their legal spouse, been refused service in a store as they try on clothes that don’t fit the clerk’s perception of their gender or had to seek shelter when confronted by a group of people determined to harm them.
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I am proud to be a gay man. I am proud to be a person with a spinal cord injury. I am proud of these things because I am part of communities who are strong, smart, and powerful. We don’t have it easy, but both communities have this in common: we refuse to give up. We refuse to be treated as second-class citizens.
We have learned to be proud and demand our rights. We have learned how to effectively lobby our Members of Congress and state legislators. We have learned to speak out at town meetings. We have learned to cultivate allies who, despite not sharing our “outsider” status, will fight for us and with us. We have learned to speak up as individuals and as a community to express our needs. We have learned how to navigate a health care system that would just as soon see us disappear. We have learned to take our rightful places in society, including in our churches, synagogues, and mosques, and in our government.
And most importantly, we have learned to be proud of loving and being loved, and we have learned to live full and rewarding lives.
So, make this LGBTQ+ Pride Month a celebration of our lives and our accomplishments. Have fun! And then get back to the serious business of fighting for equality.