​Substance Use and Overcoming Traumatic Life Situations

I am a woman who gained her disability from her substance use. I was under the influence of alcohol and opioids when one day, while driving home from work, I crashed my car and sustained a spinal cord injury. I broke my spine and became paraplegic. I had struggled with addiction for a long time before the accident due to a lifetime of trauma. Drugs and alcohol were the answer to all my mental, emotional, and physical pain. I grew up in a household where drugs and alcohol were used regularly, so it was not hard finding them once I discovered that these substances made me feel less pain and changed how I felt about myself.

In my 35 years, I have experienced poverty and I had to raise my five siblings. I was abandoned by my father and my mother has a substance use disorder. I also survived sexual assault, mentally and physically abusive relationships, low self-esteem, depression, and even suicidal thoughts and attempts. With all of these traumatic life situations, this was the recipe for my substance use. I thought the drugs and the alcohol were the answer to all my problems, but eventually found out that it was fueling my trauma even more. I did things I am not proud of and hurt many people close to me. I had no understanding of what a healthy life looked like or how to fix it.

With my new life as a paraplegic woman with 3 children, I had no idea how I was going to be a mom as well as living a successful life as a woman with a disability. As I said before, I struggled with my addiction before my accident but the struggle continued after my accident because now I had a prescription and another excuse (my disability) to use. I had doctors tell me “If I was in your position I would keep the prescription just in case” when I tried to tell them that I wanted to stop taking narcotics. I battled with this for many months. I often thought, “If my doctor tells me it's ok, then I don’t need to stop, right?” but that wasn’t the case! The day before the first anniversary of my accident (New Life Day) I had a spiritual awakening. I was in so much mental pain that I decided to stop using drugs. My sober date is March 16, 2019, and my New Life Day is March 17, 2018. That wasn’t a coincidence, that was divine intervention working for me.

I can wholeheartedly say that MY ACCIDENT SAVED MY LIFE! Today I am proud of my disability and how I’ve stayed clean and sober. My disability gave me strength that I never knew or thought I would ever have. Once I put the substances down I was left with me. In order to love myself, I had to go back and work through my trauma. I still am learning more about myself to this day and I can tell you I love the woman I am becoming.

Since I have changed my life and started working on myself. I’ve been thriving as a loving and involved mother, who works in the disability community as a peer support specialist. I started a non-profit in the recovery field, became Ms. Wheelchair Maryland 2021, and I am an advocate in my community. With these accomplishments, I have to remember that my traumas do not define the person I am today. My life looks different today because I didn’t let my trauma and addictions continue to control me. I reached out and asked for help and because of that I am thriving and feel blessed for the life I lead today.

If anyone is struggling with addiction and trauma, please reach out for help! I did, and it was the best thing I ever did!

Brittany Rieman is a mother of 3, a spinal cord injury survivor, Ms. Wheelchair Maryland 2021, peer support, and advocate for the disability community, as well a member of long-term recovery. Her only hope is to share her story and help anyone who is in need.