Peer & Family Support Spotlight: Sharon Malone
When Sharon Malone sustained a T5 incomplete and a T12 complete spinal cord injury in a 2012 car accident, all she could think about was how she could get back to being a mom.
“At the time, my kids were two, four and seven years old,” says Malone, who lives in Mesa, Arizona. “My car rolled four or five times. I had a broken pelvis and a torn ACL, and I spent seven months in the hospital and rehab. My only hope that kept me going was to be a mom again.”
About a year after her injury, she learned about the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation at a community event hosted by the Arizona Spinal Cord Injury Association.
“The event gave me hope for life post-injury. To that point, it had been trial and error and a whole lot of crying,” says Malone. “I got all the Reeve Foundation’s pamphlets on disability rights, rehab and health maintenance. I love the wallet cards. It was great because I got very little from the hospital.”
In 2015, Malone decided to become a Reeve Foundation Peer & Family Support Program mentor.
“A lot of moms call the foundation for support, and I talk to a lot of them,” says Malone, who estimates that she’s spoken with hundreds of people over the years as a mentor with the Reeve Foundation and two other organizations. She has about 18 peers she checks in with each month.
“It is usually other moms who continue to follow up with me to ask questions,” says Malone. “I love what I do and am very passionate about it. I had to figure a lot of things out on my own, and I don’t want someone else to do that if they don’t have to.”
Malone is highly independent. She taught herself to drive, shower, catheterize and care for her bowels. She has gone skydiving, scuba diving, kayaking, camping and playing paintball. She also enjoys going to the beach, and she’s been to all the theme parks in California.
“I want to be able to take care of myself, and I don’t want someone else to take care of my kids,” says Malone, a single mom. “If someone says you can’t, I say, ‘Yes, I can.’ I just do it in a different way. It is so freeing.”
She often makes videos about how she does things and sends them to her peers. Mothers can face additional logistical challenges like changing a diaper or using a crib.
“I’ve usually run into the same issue they are asking about, and I share how I solved it. I’m an open book; they can ask me anything. I give them the real reel. There’s what the textbook says, and then there’s real life,” says Malone. “We may have similar injuries but not similar problems. I help them troubleshoot. If I don’t have the answer, I know how to find it using Reeve Foundation resources.”
Malone’s goal is to try to help others see what is possible. She volunteers at her kids’ school events and lobbied for an accessible playground. She finds that many moms living with an injury are focused on getting their kids to activities and how to travel again as a family.
“They want to go to grassy playing fields, football games and beaches. These can be tough terrains to navigate in a wheelchair,” says Malone. “There can be a lot of bumps in the road, and you just need to figure it out and make it work. I’ve fallen out of my chair more than once trying to pick Legos up off the floor.
Join Our Movement
What started as an idea has become a national movement. With your support, we can influence policy and inspire lasting change.
Become an Advocate
She also finds that many of the concerns she hears can be universal to all parents.
“Parenting doesn’t come with a handbook whether you have a disability or not. You need to learn to adapt either way,” says Malone. “There is nothing you can’t do as a parent with a disability, but it will just take longer and can be more frustrating.”
Malone continues, “Parenting 101 is adaptability. Your kids are ever-changing, and you need to adapt with them. There are still moments when I hate being in a wheelchair, and I cry, but every parent has that. No one can be super mom 100% of the time.”
If there is an upside to living with a disability, Malone is grateful to spend more time with her kids. Her ability to participate in their lives would be different if she worked full-time. When she speaks with newly injured moms, she encourages them to get back out in the community and do what they are passionate about.
“Mostly, I just encourage all parents to reach out. It’s ok to ask for help,” says Malone. “The Reeve Foundation has lots of great listeners. They can help you find what you are looking for and match you with a mentor who can really understand everything you are going through.”
You can request a Peer & Family Support Program mentor here.