SCI Happens to the Whole Family
When an individual becomes suddenly paralyzed from a spinal cord injury, that person’s life drastically changes and will never be the same. One minute you’re running into the ocean waves; the next minute, you are face down in the water, unable to turn your head for a breath, which was the case for my son.
At that same moment, as the mother of a child who sustained a spinal cord injury, your life has radically changed and will never be what it was before. I was 38, a mother of 4 and ran a small photography business. Busy booking photo shoots and juggling career and family.
One phone call changed my life’s path. That call informed me my 15-year-old boy was in the hospital and could not move. I knew very little about paralysis. I also knew I had to help him; I had to come alongside my child so he could move forward with his young life. There was simply no other option. Zack’s reaction to his diagnosis was not what I expected; after being told he was now a quadriplegic, Zack intentionally focused on what he could still move, so the healing began. After surgery and 3 months of living in the rehab hospital, Zack came home. While in the hospital, we remodeled our bathroom with a roll-in shower, Thanks to some construction friends. We paved a walkway around the house to our back slider door, where we put a wheelchair ramp. Once Zack was able to get inside, life was now trial and error.
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My career as a photographer was put on hold, and my instant role as a caregiver came into full swing. His dad continued running his construction painting business so we could pay our bills. Zack is the oldest child. His younger siblings were 13,7 & 5 years old. Levi, the 13-year-old, became my right-hand man. We got ourselves up, dressed Zack and lifted him into his wheelchair. Helped the little 2 kids get ready; for breakfast, packed lunches and loaded everyone in the truck by 8 AM. Drove to the elementary school for drop off, then 2nd stop at the Jr. high. Zack and I would drive over an hour for 3 hours of physical therapy, then back on the road another hour, getting back just in time to pick up the 3 kids from both schools. We would get home, unload, and start Zack’s bowel & shower program, kids’ homework and dinner. This schedule went on for a year, then lowered the number of days from 4 to 2 days a week.
All the kids were affected. Their bigger, stronger older brother now needed daily assistance with everything, and they were the ones helping him. Zack’s injury affected what we did and where we went. The little ones adjusted quickly. Levi took on much more responsibility was hard. Zack and Levi are 2 years apart. Zack had always been the leader and seemed invincible. Now his quieter younger brother was thrown into a caretaking role. I tried my best to allow the other kids to express their feelings, and talk therapy helped. Now, 12 years post-injury I can say that as a family, we are much closer for having gone through this experience; it has made us all better people. It’s definitely a family affair. I have overcome the many challenges after Zack’s injury, knowing that things get easier, and I will be okay.