Questions Asked, Questions Answered
Life is odd. Vast. Confusing. Hard to figure out. And that moves many people to ponder the Big Questions. Gurus, priests, rabbis, philosophers, and New Age Life Coaches stop and ask: What is the Meaning of Life? Why Are We Here? How do we fit in the Universe? To me, these are questions that will never be answered, or at least not in any complete way. And how would we know if the answer is right, anyway?
But sometimes it does pay to ask these questions. Studying spirituality and many different religious beliefs has enlightened me and made me a calmer and more complete person. My own belief (and not one anyone else has to agree with) is that there is a piece of God in everyone and everything. And that has caused me to look at the world differently than before, be more aware, be more grateful, and be more empathetic towards others.
To those of us with spinal cord injuries, even the seemingly simple questions take on added meaning, and pose different challenges. For us, “How did I get here?” doesn’t mean “How did I get to this physical place?”, as often as it means “How did I go from being an active, independent, mobile person to being in a wheelchair?”
I have never asked “Why did this happen to me?” I don’t believe “everything has a reason” or that somehow God (or who or whatever you think of as a Creator or Life Force) decided to put me through this. This is not a Divine test. Instead, I find myself asking different, and hopefully more productive, questions: “How do I stay as mentally and physically healthy as possible? How can I be helpful to other people with spinal cord injuries? Can I lead by example?” Our friends and families often look at us and think (or say) “what an inspiration.” But are we? As another Reeve Content Contributor recently wrote, we are not inspirations simply because we are injured and alive. But we can be inspirations if we take our disability and make something positive of it.
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Become an Advocate
Do you remember how scared you were when you were first injured? Think back to those days and consider how much better they would have been if you could have talked to someone else who had gone through a similar experience. So, reach out to someone else who is newly injured and have a conversation about how you got through those early days. Allow them to ask questions, and if you don’t have the answers, help them find someone who does. Ask your physical therapist or your doctor if they know someone who is looking for another person with a spinal cord injury to talk to. Be a mentor, in the Reeve Foundation Peer & Family Support program, or informally. Your experience can help someone else, and helping someone else will make you feel better as well.
Volunteer for a local non-profit. Just because you are in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you can’t be an important contributor to your community. Does a local museum need docents or guides? Does your neighborhood school need after school readers? Can you become involved with an organization that distributes food to those who need it? Depending on the extent of your paralysis, you may be able to do these activities or volunteer in other ways. Being involved will not only give you a sense of connection but will return emotional rewards to your well-being.
And when you answer the questions that spur you on to helping others, you may just find yourself answering the Big Ones. Why am I Here? What is the Meaning of My Life? You may just wake up one day and say…. "now, I know".