Peer & Family Support Spotlight: Gail Evans and Tomeka Arnett
When Gail Evans’ son Brad suggested she become a Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation Peer & Family Support Program mentor, she wondered how she could be helpful. It had been over 25 years since Brad sustained a T5 complete injury in a 1996 car accident. Brad, who is also a mentor, assured her that you never forget everything you’ve learned over the years.
“I remembered meeting another mom soon after Brad’s injury, and her son was living a full life with a spinal cord injury. It gave me hope when I needed it most, and I realized I could now be that source of hope for others,” says Evans. “You can still live a good life; it’s just different.”
Since completing the mentor training over a year ago, Evans has connected with five peers, all mothers, who are caregivers for an adult child with a spinal cord injury. One of those peers is Tomeka Arnett, whose 23-year-old son, William (Will), sustained a C4-5 incomplete injury from a gunshot wound in 2020.
Will was shot due to a mistaken identity and spent several months using a ventilator. Arnett recalled Christopher Reeve’s story and found the Reeve Foundation online. She has used many of the Foundation’s healthcare resources, especially the autonomic dysreflexia (AD) card, which she has shared with paramedics and others unfamiliar with AD.
“We started using Reeve Foundation resources soon after Will’s injury, and I saw the option for a mentor on the website,” says Arnett. “Connecting with Gail was one of the best things that could happen. Some days are difficult, and it is great to have someone I can talk to who went through the same things.”
Evans and Arnett mostly chat by text. Evans shares tips and checks in on Arnett every few weeks to see how she is doing. For Arnett, one of the many benefits of having a mentor is that she has someone she can reach out to with questions.
“Many of the things I ask, Gail can answer first-hand, but if she doesn’t know the answer, she will ask her son or know where to find help,” says Arnett. “Some conversations are hard to have, like around bowel programs, and I’m grateful to have someone I can talk to.”
Join Our Movement
What started as an idea has become a national movement. With your support, we can influence policy and inspire lasting change.
Become an Advocate
Gail has realized that no matter how long it has been, she can still impact others, whether by answering questions or providing an empathetic ear.
“If it helps someone just a little bit, it is definitely worth it,” says Evans. “Some of our conversations take me back to when Brad had his accident and how lost you can feel. It is good for me to talk it out. I get a lot out of it, too.”
A couple of months ago, Tomeka and Will met Brad at the tennis complex where Brad works as a coach. It was a great opportunity for Will to learn more about how Brad has built a full life.
“If not for the Reeve Foundation, I would be lost,” says Arnett. “When Will was shot, it was a shock. Then, what the doctors tell you is another shock. You need someone who you can connect with openly. Someone who can help explain what the doctors are telling you. Someone who can say, ‘I’ve been through that, and everything is going to be ok.’”
Arnett is now considering becoming a mentor herself one day.
“The first thing I would tell someone who is newly injured to do is to Google the Reeve Foundation and sign up — for the resources and a mentor,” says Arnett. “I hope the Reeve Foundation never stops making new educational resources and connecting us as a community. It has truly changed our lives.”
You can request a Peer & Family Support Program mentor here.