Peer & Family Support Program Spotlight: Matthew Sexton
Amidst the shock and devastation of living with a new spinal cord injury, Matthew Sexton distinctly remembers a moment that changed the course of his recovery.
“I was at the hospital and a local bank manager came to see me. He was about my age with a similar level of injury,” says Sexton. “Although he only visited me twice, the information he shared and the hope he offered has stayed with me.”
Now 50 years old, Sexton sustained a T5 complete injury in a 2011 motorcycle accident when a car tried to pass him in a no pass zone.
“I was really lost and scared when I was first injured. I remember that feeling to this day. It meant so much to me to meet this man, to know someone out there was still going, that this is not a life sentence,” says Sexton, who lives in Michigan and works as an application engineer for a composite technology company.
Months later, Sexton’s wife suggested he think about helping others as the man in the hospital helped him. Sexton connected with therapists in the local hospital and became a Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation Peer & Family Support Program mentor.
“Having my first mentor conversation made me feel amazing. I helped the person figure some things out and how to do things a little easier. I felt like I was good at it, and I enjoyed it,” says Sexton.
In the eight years since becoming a mentor, Sexton estimates that he has spoken with over two dozen people who live across the country. Many of whom he stays in contact with through text.
“I like to talk to people when they are newly injured. All the struggles that come with an injury need to be tackled early,” says Sexton. “It is so important to reach out soon after an injury before things get really difficult.”
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Many of the peers Sexton speaks with don’t leave their homes often, so he first encourages them to find things they can add to their wheelchairs to make getting out easier. He usually recommends purchasing a FreeWheel attachment, which converts a folding or rigid wheelchair into a three-wheeler.
“The attachment lets you go across gravel and grass like anyone else. I take it on business trips, walks with my wife and to the park with my kids. It gets you outside and removes fears like negotiating curbs,” says Sexton. “I bring one wherever I go. I have one at home and one in the car.”
Sexton also emphasizes the importance of prioritizing relationships and what he calls ultimate communication.
“Talk about everything. Be honest about how you feel. Talk constantly. You can’t be superficial. Believe in each other, trust and listen,” says Sexton. “So many relationships end in divorce after an injury, and this is what saved us and got us through this.”
Above all, Sexton thinks his final suggestion may be the most important.
“The Reeve Foundation should be a resource, not a lifeline. Early intervention is key. Don’t wait until you feel alone and desperate. I would love to call every single person who is newly injured in my area. I would be there to meet them in a minute. I hope everyone touched by the Reeve Foundation at the beginning gets on a good track.”
The Peer & Family Support Program provides mentoring to people with paralysis, including individuals who are newly injured and those who have been living with paralysis for years, as well as family members/caregivers. Connect with a Peer & Family Support Program mentor here.