--- title: Navigating Parenthood and Disability description: Incorporating self-care takes conscious effort anyway, and even more when I have a tiny shadow smiling up at me. These are reminders for mamas, but also for everyone. image: https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hubfs/IMG_4823.jpg --- [Community](https://www.christopherreeve.org/community) [Voices from the Community](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/en) [Navigating Parenthood and Disability](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/en/navigating-parenthood-and-disability) # Navigating Parenthood and Disability I’m a little over 18 years post-accident (resulting in my T8 paralysis) and a little under one-year post-childbirth. Both statistics are mind-blowing: *how have almost two decades already passed* and *have I really been a mother* *for* that *long?* *![IMG_4823](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hs-fs/hubfs/IMG_4823.jpg?width=364&height=486&name=IMG_4823.jpg)* [My paralysis and motherhood](https://www.christopherreeve.org/todays-care/living-with-paralysis/for-parents/) have both been full of ups and downs, but I’ve managed an overall upward trajectory for as long as I can remember. There have been a few wrenches in my way (see: constant wounds and [postpartum near-depression](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/en/mental-health-and-postpartum?fbclid=IwAR3uAcWfleTzHpYPZs4S4PVSm32rauWvDCMdk1craf2R_PXaH1bNMJltT58&hsLang=en)), but my forward motion is largely thanks to listening to my needs and giving myself respect. My needs and that respect have looked very different over time, but I’ve learned \[the hard way\] that it’s important to honor them both. *Easier said than done, I know.* As a mama to a beautiful growing boy, I can’t be my priority anymore: taking a shower is a late-night luxury; I’ve gone pro in eating my food with one hand, while the other feeds a tiny mouth; I’ve sensationalized “bathroom time” with my son in the mornings so he’ll come with me to brush my teeth; and a list of everyday labors I now consider luxuries. It’s the best and I wouldn’t change a thing, please believe that. *But then I get a pressure sore on my ischium.* *Then I get a UTI.* *Then I have a headache from skipping lunch.* ####    Join Our Movement ### What started as an idea has become a national movement. With your support, we can influence policy and inspire lasting change. [Become an Advocate](https://www.votervoice.net/REEVE/Register) ![](https://www.christopherreeve.org/wp-content/themes/reeve/assets/images/fpo/blog-dc.png) You see the trend: I stop taking care of myself because I’m *distracted.* That’s not a good excuse, but it’s what I have. Incorporating self-care takes conscious effort anyway, and even more when I have a tiny shadow smiling up at me. These are reminders for mamas, but also for everyone. 1. **Pay attention to your body.** This is biggest for me because it took years to nail down, then I went back to square one when I became a mama. “Pay attention to your body” is my balloon reminder to do pressure reliefs, drink water, eat balanced meals, take naps. I was first to say “phooey” to these – especially the naps – but to what end? The better my body works, the better I can love my boy. Sold. 2. **And your mind.** My best examples of this sounds so silly, but they’re small/big deals: I asked my husband to take over letting our dog outside before bed while I feed baby, so I don’t have to do it all. It’s a small task that somehow felt like 50lbs. There are certain people I’ve also avoided in the name of mental health. The “silly” things can often be the biggest. 3. **Find what works.** Let’s save you some time: if you’re pregnant with a disability \[aside from my [Paralyzed and Pregnant series](https://www.christopherreeve.org/?s=paralyzed+and+pregnant)\], there’s little-to-no information on the internet about accessibility and adaptations; like most things post-paralysis, I’ve had to [figure it all out myself](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/en/parenting-made-accessible?fbclid=IwAR1tzbq_MY7l0RV5_I8MyY3RQXllvtjykr6j2mAmTGKreUeL-6QcQvaLe5Y&hsLang=en). I did, and that was another 50lb weight lifted off me. I’ve had to adapt with every pound he’s grown, but knowing that I *can* do it has been an enormous comfort that served my mental health. Motherhood is a fascinating and joyful ride. My biggest motivation has been to take care of myself so I’ll be around for every minute of it. ### About the Author - Kristin Beale Kristin Beale is a native of Richmond, Virginia. She is the author of three books, Greater Things and A Million Suns, Wide Awake, and a comic book, Date Me. Instagram: @kristin.gupta [![Twitter](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hubfs/Icon-twitter-square.svg)](https://twitter.com/kristinbeale) [![Facebook](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hubfs/Icon-facebook-square.svg)](https://www.facebook.com/kristinbeale) [![LinkedIn](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hubfs/Icon-linkedin-square.svg)](http://www.linkedin.com/in/kristinbeale/) ![Kristin Beale](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/hubfs/blog-authors/AuthorKristinBeale836x480.png) The opinions expressed in these blogs are the author's own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation. The National Paralysis Resource Center website is supported by the Administration for Community Living (ACL), U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) as part of a financial assistance award totaling $10,000,000 with 100 percent funding by ACL/HHS. The contents are those of the author(s) and do not necessarily represent the official views of, nor an endorsement by, ACL/HHS, or the U.S. Government. [Back to top](https://blog.christopherreeve.org/en/navigating-parenthood-and-disability#top)