Motherhood on Wheels

When I was 17, my life was rocked to my core. My world was forever changed when I was in a car accident that left me instantly and permanently paralyzed. During that time, so many questions arose. There was so much unknown to conquer. I wondered if I’d ever fall in love, have a career, and start a family. There was no example to go off of. I didn’t know a single person, let alone wife or mother with a spinal cord injury. I had practically zero experience with disability. And here I was, thrust into this life in a blink of any eye.

I knew I would adapt to life with a disability eventually. I knew I would get my independence back. I was determined and I fought hard for it. But finding someone to love me? Having a family of my own one day? These things I wanted so badly… felt so out of reach. I feared I simply wouldn’t experience those parts of life. I came to accept that being a wife and mother just weren’t in the cards for me. And then I met my husband. We met, fell in love, got married, and had our first child together. And now 7 years later, I am a wife and a mom all while having a spinal cord injury.

Motherhood is hard. Pregnancy. Childbirth. Postpartum Depression. Raising a tiny human. The list goes on. You know what makes it harder? Motherhood while paralyzed. The challenges of motherhood can be exhausting, but the rewards of motherhood are endless. Especially when you are tackling motherhood from a wheelchair.

Before I had my daughter, I worried a lot about how I could possibly do it. Will my daughter love me despite my injury? Will kids bully her for having a mom on wheels? Will there be things she or I miss out on because of my disability? These thoughts often kept me up at night. But you know what happened when I had her? They didn’t go POOF, but over time, each and every one of those questions was challenged.

The questions I had were answered simply by becoming a mother. When I became a mom, I came to understand just how capable and resilient I am. I take care of my daughter like any other mom does. I clothe her, I feed her, I nurture her, I play with her… I love her. Just like any other mom, except I am on wheels. Except, instead of carrying her on my hip, I carry her on my lap. Except, instead of chasing after her on my feet, I wheel after her in my chair.

Is it hard being a mom on wheels? Sometimes, yes. But mostly, it’s just different. My advice for women who wonder about their future for motherhood or new moms figuring it out as they go is: accept yourself for who you are. Your disability can be your superpower. You will do some things differently, but maybe in some ways you will do it better. My daughter taught me to be proud of who I am, because if nothing else, I am her mom. Be proud of who you are. And be especially proud of being a mom on wheels.

My name is Leah Howes. I am a wife and mother, and I live with a spinal cord injury. I’ve been paralyzed since 2018, and since then, I have grown a passion for disability awareness and advocacy, holding a master’s in rehabilitation counseling and disability science.