In 2017, I acquired a level T4 spinal cord injury after a car accident. Before my accident, I often heard the phrase, “Be grateful for what you have,” but I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I have always felt driven to help people, which led me to work in the medical field for over twenty years as a CNA, LPN, Medical Assistant, and instructor. As a medical provider, I worked with a diverse population of spinal cord injury patients who acquired injuries from car accidents, gunshots, and work accidents. I never imagined that I would be in the same shoes as the patients I took care of.
During the journey that followed my accident, some people told me that because I had worked in the medical field for so long, I should know what to do. This could not have been further from the truth. I went from assisting patients to becoming the patient myself. It is easy to coach other people along their recovery but doing it for myself felt different. While I intentionally cared for my patients and motivated them to accomplish their goals, I struggled to give myself the same motivation and gratitude for my accomplishments. Even though I knew the proper things to do for my health, I became depressed after my injury and rarely followed doctors’ recommendations.
When I worked as a CNA, I loved creating space to listen to my patients. I realized just how important listening was after I became paralyzed and depended on others to care for me. As I relied on doctors, family members, and loved ones to make certain decisions on my behalf, I experienced some frustrating moments of not being listened to, and I felt like a burden. My paralysis journey taught me to deeply appreciate when people listen to me and validate my concerns. For example, when I practiced vulnerability with my family and explained the experience of feeling like a burden, they intentionally tried to understand my feelings and uplift me. I felt like they cared about me as a person, as opposed to moments when people have not allowed me to voice my opinion or pushed me to do things that I didn’t want to do.