Love and Gratitude: My Paralysis Journey as a Medical Provider
In 2017, I acquired a level T4 spinal cord injury after a car accident. Before my accident, I often heard the phrase, “Be grateful for what you have,” but I didn’t fully understand what it meant. I have always felt driven to help people, which led me to work in the medical field for over twenty years as a CNA, LPN, Medical Assistant, and instructor. As a medical provider, I worked with a diverse population of spinal cord injury patients who acquired injuries from car accidents, gunshots, and work accidents. I never imagined that I would be in the same shoes as the patients I took care of.
During the journey that followed my accident, some people told me that because I had worked in the medical field for so long, I should know what to do. This could not have been further from the truth. I went from assisting patients to becoming the patient myself. It is easy to coach other people along their recovery but doing it for myself felt different. While I intentionally cared for my patients and motivated them to accomplish their goals, I struggled to give myself the same motivation and gratitude for my accomplishments. Even though I knew the proper things to do for my health, I became depressed after my injury and rarely followed doctors’ recommendations.
When I worked as a CNA, I loved creating space to listen to my patients. I realized just how important listening was after I became paralyzed and depended on others to care for me. As I relied on doctors, family members, and loved ones to make certain decisions on my behalf, I experienced some frustrating moments of not being listened to, and I felt like a burden. My paralysis journey taught me to deeply appreciate when people listen to me and validate my concerns. For example, when I practiced vulnerability with my family and explained the experience of feeling like a burden, they intentionally tried to understand my feelings and uplift me. I felt like they cared about me as a person, as opposed to moments when people have not allowed me to voice my opinion or pushed me to do things that I didn’t want to do.
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My paralysis journey has also taught me the importance of showing yourself love and gratitude. While working in the medical field, I always felt grateful for my job and life, but I did not understand how quickly life can change and how abruptly you can go from being independent to depending on others. My accident left me feeling hopeless at first. Some of the people that I hoped would be understanding did not show me the compassion that I needed. I didn’t know who to talk to or where to begin my new life as a disabled person. I didn’t know how to show gratitude for my life as it is now.
It wasn’t until I started listening to daily affirmations and speaking life into myself that I started to love myself again and celebrate small accomplishments. Once I started counseling and joined a support group for people with disabilities, I found greater appreciation for life as is. I connected with Backbones, an amazing nonprofit organization for people with disabilities. I networked with outstanding people, volunteered in a leadership program, and got the support that I needed to launch my own personal podcast called WheelConvos. I assisted Backbones with research grants, and I joined a beautiful community that I never knew existed. Being involved in the support group has given me the opportunity to realize that I am not alone. Listening to others tell their stories taught me how to honor myself.
Everyone should show themselves love after accomplishing any goal, no matter how big or small. It is important to appreciate the small things in life and find gratitude simply for being who you are as a person.
Author’s Bio: Shante Nelson is a former medical provider who became paralyzed 6 years ago due to a motor vehicle accident. After feeling like she wouldn’t be able to live a normal life due to her disability, she began going to many different support groups and learning from the disabled community. She now runs her own personal podcast called WheelConvos.