Do I Say Hello?
Have you seen people in wheelchairs and wanted to say simply say “Hello” but didn’t know how to approach them? Before my son’s spinal cord injury, I had zero knowledge about the different types of wheelchairs. I couldn’t tell you the difference between a temporary wheelchair and someone who uses a wheelchair full time. I now can recognize types, brands, features, and details about wheelchairs.
After Zack’s injury, I’d boldly approach anyone in a chair and ask questions, eager to hear how they were injured, learn any tips or life hacks they had to offer. I was used to Zack being okay and usually appreciative if someone held or opened a door for him. He didn’t seem to mind when a total stranger asked him how he was injured or even bluntly what happened to him? But I eventually found out that some things really varied from person to person.
It wasn’t until I spoke with a very independent, young quad that I realized not everyone thought that way. This young man would turn down most help and say, “I got it” or “No thanks” and didn’t like talking about his injury. This could have been because he was emotional about his accident or simply it is his right to feel like it’s no one’s business but his own. He didn’t want to be pitied or treated any differently than an able-bodied person. More of a “say hi if you want but not just because I’m in a wheelchair”.
After this conversation I started to approach people in a less forward manner. I would start a conversation by mentioning that my son also has a spinal cord injury or is a wheelchair user. If I had a specific question, I’d let them know that it would really help me to hear their answer. I have learned the best ideas and life altering tips by speaking directly to other quadriplegics.
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As time went on the feeling that I needed to talk to every quadriplegic I encountered did fade and life moved on; I lost the intense urgency to share my son’s story with anyone who would listen. In hind-site I believe doing this was a form of healing for me as Zack’s mom.
The other day I rushed into a grocery store and instantly noticed a quadriplegic lady rolling through the aisle in her power chair with a small basket on her lap. She was reaching for an item. Just as I was about to ask if she needed help a young women offered her assistance, I thought that was kind of her. It feels good to help others.
Throughout the store I ran into the quadriplegic women a few times, I was short on time and running late so I ended up not saying anything, I checked out and left the store. Yet as I was driving home, I thought why not just simply say “Hello”? After all, I don’t run into quadriplegics in my town every day. I regretted not saying something.
If you're ever unsure whether to greet someone in a wheelchair, remember that saying "Hello" to anyone and receiving acknowledgment is always a kind gesture. If you have a direct question, ask if it’s okay to ask the question first. Let the person know you are really interested, and that the answer can be of great value.
I have a much calmer, softer approach now, and for me it’s better than regretting not saying something. I see it as a simple way to brighten someone's day – to make them smile and let them know, "I acknowledge you."