Disability and Imposter Syndrome
Imposter syndrome has been something I’ve personally been working on addressing within myself. Imposter syndrome occurs when people doubt their abilities and feel like a fraud. It manifests as downplaying your achievements and thinking that you’re not doing enough to brag about yourself.
I have experienced imposter syndrome in a unique way as a disabled woman. Since becoming disabled, I feel like I’m either never doing enough, or the work that I do accomplish is not worth talking about. I often find myself downplaying the roles that I take part in, and I neglect to talk about all the cool things that I have gotten to do, such as co-hosting a women’s disability live podcast, as well as educating and empowering others by sharing my story.
Much of my imposter syndrome stems from the societal bias and internalized ableism which we have been conditioned with since birth.
In our individualistic society, we get told from a young age to find a job, achieve complete independence, and follow the rules that are needed to be socially accepted. We are taught the capitalist mindset, which leads us to believe that when someone is not working a “typical job” from nine to five each day, the work that they are doing is less important. We are also taught to devalue the people who don’t “perform” the way society expects them to.
Society teaches us that the severity of people’s disability determines their worthiness. We shame disabled individuals into feeling like they are at fault for their lack of independence in a society that is structurally not set up for them. We lack representation, resources, and rights, yet we are supposed to accept the bare minimum as disabled individuals.
Join Our Movement
What started as an idea has become a national movement. With your support, we can influence policy and inspire lasting change.
Become an Advocate
We are hardly exposed to the larger world outside of societal norms. Anything that goes against the traditional capitalist scripts that we are taught is questioned or shamed by people in positions of power. We deserve a more accepting world in which disabled people are seen as equals and as human beings.
Disabled people get told in so many ways that we are not enough. For many of us, this feeds into imposter syndrome.
Imposter syndrome affects the way that I see myself and my life in general. It’s why I have a hard time talking about my achievements or my life experiences. As a disabled woman, I have dealt with shocked reactions from non-disabled people and their disbelief of the impact I’m making. I have also felt the same disbelief within myself.
I’m working on my imposter syndrome because I want to live in a world where disabled people are allowed to be fully human. I want to be proud and outspoken about my life experiences, which include disability and all. When people ask me about what I have been up to, I want to confidently tell them about the impactful work that I have been leading.
I’m switching my mindset away from what society expects of me and doesn’t expect of me. Instead, I am working on a more inclusive mindset that is open to the unconventional way of doing things. Disability is unconventional; therefore, my lived experience naturally is unconventional as well. But what I’m doing is enough, and my life deserves to be celebrated. Instead of telling myself that “my voice isn’t reaching enough people,” I am switching my language to saying: “Even just changing a small part of the world is still change.”
Imposter syndrome is a widely shared experience, even after reaching success, overcoming an obstacle, or achieving a goal. In these moments, I wonder what is next or if this is all that’s left. But these moments of doubt don’t make my achievements any less significant. I still did it and I’m still doing it. As long as we’re putting in the work, it’s worth proudly talking about.
Author’s Bio:
Ashley Llorens is a C4 quadriplegic. She sustained her spinal cord injury from a car accident in 2019 that left both her and her twin sister paralyzed. Ashley and her twin, Nikki, started sharing their story on various social media platforms, and they started a YouTube channel to advocate, educate, and document their lives as disabled women in Chicago, Illinois.