Dating in a Wheelchair, How Far You’ve Come

Zack simply decided one day to start dating. He made a profile on a few dating apps, posted pictures of him in his power wheelchair and hit upload. It was a bold move, but not surprising because that is how Zack is. Once he decides to do something, he does it. Dating is scary enough as an able-bodied person; add in a wheelchair to make things a lot more complicated. Zack was 15 when he broke his neck and around 18 when he decided to take the risk. It paid off but not without trial and error, like with anything new.

When Zack started dating, he did not drive, so I would have to drop him off and pick him up. This can be awkward pulling up in an adaptive minivan with your mom for a first date. We figured out quickly that we needed to get him there early, so mother and minivan could be out of sight before his date arrived. There was a timeframe that I counted 12 first dates! Yep, a dozen one-time dates. I think this was harder on me than Zack. I was proud of him for putting himself out there but felt a bit sad and embarrassed that these dates ended after only one time, plus no one likes pity dates. Yet, Zack chose to view these dates as learning opportunities. He was given the gift of experience, talking with new people, different personalities and topics. He didn’t seem to mind.

One time I pulled up just in time to see Zack boldly lean in for a hopeful kiss, and the unexpecting girl quickly turned her cheek. Slow down I said to him after he was in the car. He figured it was worth a shot. There was also an incident where he had a date over to the house after I had highly discouraged this option, but she showed up, and I couldn’t say anything at that point. They watched a movie together, and when she got up to leave, I happened to walk out at that moment; as this poor girl was exiting my home, I called out after her, “Sorry, my son can’t walk you out,” instantly regretting my choice of words even as they were coming out of my mouth. What the heck! How embarrassing for the young girl. Not surprisingly, we never saw her again. These were embarrassing moments for sure, but now they are funny memories.