Caregivers Care for Yourselves Too
Advice Alert! Why do caregivers take care of everyone else except ourselves, at least, I do. I'm last on the list, and you better believe something will almost always take the place of me giving myself permission to relax. It could be my upbringing, personality type, family dynamics
, or whatever it is, I find it hard to treat myself. In an effort to avoid becoming bitter or resentful, I am trying to work on this and take my own advice that I'd give to a friend. I give my friends a lot of grace and even insist on them taking breaks and doing something that makes them feel happy. I know I'm no good to anybody if I'm over tired and hungry. I'm not sure why this has taken so many years for me to implement into my life. I feel guilty, I suppose, plus having my constant list of To Do's always staring me in the face.
Take care of yourselves, caregivers! I was kindly given tips and recommendations at the beginning of entering the spinal cord injury world, but I could not put them into action, I was too overwhelmed and consumed with caregiving duties. Just when I thought my plate was full, life would add another obstacle.
If I could rewind time, I would change a few things in the caregiving department. I would have protected my back for one; within the first year of Zack's injury, we started lifting him instead of using the Hoyer lift. We found that a 2-man lift was much faster, and my 16-year-old boy liked that method much better. Looking back now, I can't believe that was how we did his morning routine, but we had just gotten into that habit. We ended up giving away the Hoyer lift because it was not being used and taking up space. I didn't miss it. I was used to doing 1-man lifts. I am paying for it now, over a decade later, as I now have lower back issues. My back is weak; the smallest thing can throw it out of alignment. I wear a soft back brace, and use ice or heat as necessary. Stretching first thing in the morning is one of the best things I can do. We have now re-purchased a Hoyer lift, which is our only way to lift my son these days.
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I walk Zack's retired service dog 2x's a day, which gets both of us out of the house. I intentionally leave my cell phone behind (big difference). This gives me time to clear my head, focus on the present walk, enjoy the fresh air and detach from the constant duties that await me at home. I enjoy pouring a cup of coffee and sitting in my backyard in the sunshine; even 5-10 minutes lift me up. I block out one day on my calendar week that I do not schedule anything, I call these home catch-up days. I plan activities; a meal with friends, a movie, or any kind of nature fills me up; visiting the beach and hearing the ocean waves is one of the best. Seasonal outings like snow in the mountains. If I can't get away, I'll stop by a local park for a quick walk or take a trip to the public library and rent some books. I found books on audio are a great way to wind down and make my driving all around town much more enjoyable.
Caregivers, don't forget to care for yourselves too! You are actually doing your loved one a huge favor.