The Harmful Effects of Body Shaming
Body shaming refers to humiliating, criticizing, or talking down to someone by making inappropriate or negative comments about their body – often by comparing it to others’ bodies. It happens most often when people are of a larger size, but body shaming can also occur when someone is underweight or in reference to a specific body part. For those with spinal cord injuries, people might make comments about how your body functions differently from others. Sometimes body shaming also refers to the way someone appears in clothing or makeup. For example, a magazine may mock a celebrity for doing things like not wearing makeup, crying, or leaving the gym. No matter how it manifests, body shaming perpetuates the idea that people should be judged for their physical features (even when physical features may be completely outside of one’s control).
When someone is criticized about their body, it can be harmful and should be avoided at all costs, but it can be difficult. When you see photoshopped images on social media, it can understandably make you feel envious of others. This can be especially difficult for those with paralysis because there is already a lack of paralysis representation in the media. Comparing yourself to others – especially when the media is full of unrealistic representations of those with a “perfect body”– can lead to toxic attitudes and behaviors. It’s even more difficult when our own friends and family comment about our bodies. Body shaming can come from all sources (near and far), and it becomes highly destructive when it diminishes our self-worth and body image.
Body shaming also includes offering dietary advice or complimenting weight loss. Even when people often don't mean to offend you, their remarks can be harsh. For example, when someone says, “You look so good now! Keep up your weight loss!” it can send the message that the person did not look good prior to losing weight. Sometimes this can reinforce the idea that a person is only worthy and acceptable if they are a smaller size. The person commenting may have good intentions, but it’s much healthier to refrain from commenting on weight because you never know how someone feels.
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Even in a joking manner or in reference to ourselves, when we say things like “Wow, I ate so much pizza today, I’m terrible,” this can be damaging to both ourselves and those around us. It sets us up for a restrictive mindset and we may develop fears or guilt about eating, which is a common symptom of eating disorders. Instead, we should promote positive dialogue about balanced eating. For example, it would be better to say, “I really enjoyed this pizza today and my goal is to balance it with some nutrient-dense food tomorrow.” Here, the goal is not to “make up for” any decisions today, but rather the goal is to find balance in eating and fuel our bodies with a wide variety of nutrients.
If you endured body shaming that has led to low self-esteem, anxious feelings, obsessive behaviors, a poor relationship with food, fears or guilt related to weight gain, or any other tendencies to place judgment upon yourself or your body, there are many things you can do. Practice acceptance, challenge your negative thoughts, surround yourself with a strong support system, learn more about body misrepresentation in the media, and reach out to a mental health professional. With time, you can improve the relationship you have with your body and begin to love your entire self – completely authentically. Most importantly, be kind to your body. Being kind to yourself will decrease the likelihood of engaging in disordered eating and other body shame-related issues, and it will strengthen your resiliency to better cope when confronted with future self-esteem threats.