I am surrounded by mountains everywhere I look.
Missoula, Montana may not look like much, but to me, it is symbolic of my hopes, dreams, and everything I have worked for over the past four years. During high school, I worked extremely hard to maintain a 4.0 GPA. I took all the appropriate classes and scored high enough on my ACT to be admitted to the University of Montana, Missoula. The day I got my acceptance letter, it felt as if all of that hard work was paying off. I had the chance to attend the college of my dreams and be part of one of the most prestigious Creative Writing programs in the country!
Usually, the view out the window is a source of happiness, but lately, it is a symbol of stress. I am a senior in high school, headed off to college in the fall. You’re probably thinking, “Oh, pre-college jitters, just like everyone else, right?” Well, not exactly… I am a strong, powerchair-using young woman, who requires assistance for almost all of her activities of daily living. I am currently torn between uprooting my entire life to attend the college of my dreams, or unproblematically attending the college where I live. Given all of the moving parts that factor into my successful college transition, making this decision feels like climbing a mountain.
In addition to the wonderful academic opportunities presented at UM, Missoula also offers plenty of personal and social opportunities. As a person with a disability in conservative Kalispell, where I’m from, I don’t see a lot of people who remind me of myself. However, I have some disabled friends in Missoula who attended college at UM and have been coaching me through my transition. Because of the very active Disability community in Missoula, I am confident that I would be able to make lots of new friends and have an emotionally fulfilling college experience.
Sometimes I get so lost in my dreams of Missoula, I forget that they are just that, dreams. As much as I would love to attend school in Missoula, that decision is neither safe nor cost-effective for me at the moment. The reality is I will require the assistance of a personal care attendant (PCA) for a minimum of 3 hours each day. I will also need someone to be on call at all times in case of an emergency. Right now, if a caregiver does not show up, my parents could easily fill in the minimal hours I need for the week. However, once I start college, I will be relying on caregivers for almost all of my personal needs.