Voices From The Community | Spinal Cord Injury & Paralysis

Biggest Pain; Biggest Accomplishment

Written by Amber Collie | May 26, 2023 12:30:00 PM

I would never have thought my son’s spinal cord injury, which brought me pain, would also give me the biggest sense of accomplishment. I just wanted my son to be as independent as possible, for him to have a good life. The ages 38-50 have felt like a lifetime. I look back on photos of things we did and accomplished, wondering how we managed that stuff.

I didn’t have a life plan as a young adult, yet my life unfolded differently than I imagined. I did not think I’d be married with 4 children by age 32 or my son would break his neck as a teenager. This was the hand dealt to me. Throughout Zack’s injury, my consistent thought pattern was how to keep him moving forward. I didn’t want him or I to get stuck. I didn’t have all the answers, I just kept making small and large goals. In my daily job as a caregiver, this mindset helped me every day. I viewed my role as the person who was helping her son create a life that he would be proud of and enjoy. A spinal cord injury is not a death sentence; there is life after a tragic injury.

The shock and pain are real and very uncomfortable. There’s not a lot that compares to your child being suddenly paralyzed. You must go through the stages of grief and find some form of acceptance to move forward. If you don’t do this, you can easily find yourself stuck, deeply sad, overwhelmed and depressed. It’s okay to feel all these feelings, but at some point, it becomes a choice, of how you view this injury. Are you only wishing to have everything back, or can you focus on what you can still do?