​Oh, How I Love Being a Woman

March is Women’s History Month, where we highlight and knowledge of the important contribution of women and events by women throughout history. Just like Black History Month, I find this month to be special to me because I’m proud of being a woman, a Black disabled woman.

Once I entered womanhood, I often questioned the meaning of being a woman. Society taught women that being a woman means having the ability to create, give, and nurture life. To be soft, submissive, and silent. To sacrifice her happiness to fulfill the needs of her husband, children, and those around her without any complaint. For years, society has manipulated us to believe that these traits are what makes an “acceptable” woman, but many women have fought to not conform to society's expectation of what women should be. Sadly, we must continue to fight because many people continue with the mindset of what the ideal woman should be.

On social media, I have seen many posts and videos by both men and women (mostly cisgender heterosexuals) explaining how a woman should be. Men often tell women that if we are not feminine, soft, and submissive, we will end up dying alone. Some women feel they need to “coach” women on how to be a woman to be more accepted by society, especially by men. This truly opened my eyes to how a woman's identity is often tied to how she is perceived by the world and by men. Even though many women have shown great representation that being your own kind of woman does not stop you from being successful and living a wonderful, happy life, society still feels it’s necessary to tell women how to be.

Being a disabled woman, I am often seen as less than a woman because of my disability. Some people feel I will end up being single for the rest of my life because of the assumption that my disability makes it difficult or impossible for me to give a man a child or children. Also, many people, especially men assume that I will not be capable of fulfilling certain gender roles in a relationship. To be honest, I’m perfectly okay with these assumptions because I do not tie my womanhood with being a mother and living life to serve a man. I’m much more than those two things. Of course, I do want love and maybe children, if possible, but those two things are not a top priority for me since it’s not what being a woman is.

For me, being a woman is being my unapologetic self. I always describe myself to be ambitious, brave, independent, and bold. These traits are seen as unacceptable for a woman, but I found those traits to shape me into the person I am today. I find those traits to help with all my achievements and are going to continue to help me accomplish many more goals in the future. I also find myself to be caring, open-minded, and kind-hearted, which often are seen as weaknesses, but those are strengths. Those traits have given me the ability to understand and have empathy towards people which is why I advocate for not only disabled people but for anyone who is discriminated against for being themselves. My disability does not make me less of a woman; if anything, it makes me more of a woman because my story is complex and unique, which is how womanhood is.

I’m proud of the woman I am today, and I know I will become an even more of better woman as I continue to grow. I will always remember that it’s me who defines who I am and my womanhood, not society.