Becoming a Stepdad
I recently got engaged to an amazing partner and mother. My fiancé's name is Amanda, and we met on an online dating app called Hinge. I still remember waking up one morning, opening the app, and seeing a message from her. I am always intrigued when a woman sends the first message. I have a good amount of experience with online dating apps. Usually, the guy has to initiate the conversation and, a lot of times, doesn't get a response back. I messaged her back and then clicked on her profile. I read her bio and looked through her profile pictures. My first thought was that I thought she was very attractive. She also had some things in her bio that I resonated with. I could tell she was on this app looking for something serious and the right reasons. Not just to hook up or find a fling. I was also on the app looking for something serious.
Dating in a wheelchair comes with its own challenges, and I have had mostly positive experiences regarding online dating. Amanda had tattoos and a big, beautiful smile. The next thing I noticed was she had a daughter. Her daughter was with her in some of her pictures. I appreciated her doing this because, in my profile pictures, I always made sure it showed my wheelchair. I have talked to other people in chairs, and they hide that they are in a chair because they are insecure or embarrassed or think that showing their wheelchair will turn people away.
If someone turns you down because of your wheelchair, they aren't suitable for you. I wanted to set myself up for meeting someone and having a successful relationship, and that starts with being honest and open about my situation. I always started by making sure the person knew I was in a chair. I also mentioned it in my bio.
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I never saw myself as a stepdad. The thought of being with someone who had a child with someone else never appealed to me. However, something felt different with Amanda. I was open to exploring this just like she was open to dating someone with a spinal cord injury. She had a 6-year-old daughter at the time, and she has turned seven since then.
The first time I met her, she was shy and didn't know what to think about me being in a wheelchair. It took some time for her to warm up to me, and I could tell she was curious about my situation. At the end of the night, on our way back to our cars. I asked if she wanted to hop onto the back of my wheelchair and go for a ride. I could tell she wanted to and looked at her mom for approval. After that night, she was hooked. Whenever we saw each other, she immediately hopped on the back of my chair and wanted a ride. We have bonded a lot that way.
We get along so well, and she gets more comfortable with me whenever we hang out. She and her mom moved in with me a few weeks ago. It has been a big transition for all of us, but it has been going well. I love spending time with her and being a positive role model in her life. Any hesitations or fears I had are gone. I love being a stepdad and can't imagine my life without them. It is funny how life works out sometimes. You end up loving something you thought you would never do. Amanda and I are getting married on October 14. I can't wait to be a husband and add to our family. I love my life and am grateful for how it has turned out.