Yvonne Sterling firmly believes in the power to turn an illness or injury into something hopeful and inspiring.
“The more positive thinking you have, the better you are at healing,” says Sterling. “I help others look at things from a different perspective. I am proof that it’s not over.”
Diagnosed with lupus in 2005 at age 32, Sterling has battled a series of health issues for 20 years, including a stroke in 2012, which limited her mobility and left her permanently disabled.
“Having a second chance at life, I had to give back. I asked myself; how can I bring joy to life in a world that is so chaotic?” says Sterling. “Once I became a mentor, that was it for me, that is my purpose. It is so fulfilling, more than any job I ever had.”
For Sterling, mentoring others has been something she has been doing her whole life, but she didn’t realize it had a name. The potential impact she could have became clear when she trained to be a mentor with the Christopher & Dana Reeve Foundation’s Peer & Family Support Program in 2017.
“I didn’t know this was part of who I am, but I love it. I am so grateful for this opportunity. If my peers are willing to listen, I’m happy to share my story and hear theirs.”
Sterling continues, “I’m not looking at my story and comparing it to theirs. I’m looking at where they are today, which may be different from where they are tomorrow. The goal is to make progress, whatever that looks like today. I let them know I’m here to guide them as long as they will have me.”
She believes that connection is key to the recovery process — connection to information and others.
“I try to give answers to the questions I never got answered, and if I don’t have the answers, I reach out to the Reeve Foundation,” says Sterling. “I give a voice to the voiceless; those we don’t want to talk about how much their health condition is affecting their life, their children, and their marriage.”
Over the years, Sterling has spoken with 10 people by phone, text, email, or social media. On her first call with a new peer, she introduces herself, then leaves the door open for whatever the peer needs or wants.
“I try to reassure, give confidence, and offer as much hope as possible,” says Sterling. “I consider my peers family. Once you are connected with me, we are connected for life. I’m willing to help in any way. My phone is on 24/7 — and I’ve taken a few middle-of-the-night calls.”
Her efforts are clearly paying off. She encouraged one peer to practice learning to type as therapy as part of the peer’s goal to write a book. Sterling supported other peers who felt like they had limited life options. She also talks to caregivers and spouses about everything from wheelchair options to tips for how to stay strong.
“I’ve taught peers to advocate for themselves, and I’ve cried on the phone with peers at special moments. It is a rare blessing to make such a strong connection with another person, especially someone you have never met,” says Sterling, who lives in New York. “Talking to others gives hope to myself, too.”
Sterling’s top advice? Don’t put a timeframe on recovery.
“If you do that to yourself, you can be disappointed. No one asked for this, and we are all dealing with difficult life experiences. Progress happens slowly,” says Sterling. “I encourage my peers to take one day at a time. It is better to celebrate the little wins, and you will have more of them. The goal is to help them reach the best quality of life possible, whatever that may look like. This journey is for life.”
The Peer & Family Support Program provides mentoring to people with paralysis and their family members/caregivers. Connect with a mentor here.