On TikTok, Instagram, and YouTube you may come across these lovely reels, videos, pictures, and moments of parents who are disabled. Parents make it look easy to be a parent with a disability. Whether they have a partner or are married it's always two and they make it look like a fairy tale. When I became paralyzed, I had a 6-week-old son and an 11-year-old daughter. Just me, no husband or partner. Being a teenage parent suddenly became easy and a breeze. Now the true challenge of my life begins. How do I raise children as a single disabled mother? How do I still have an impact on my kids’ lives? Will they respect me or see me as an authority figure or just someone in a wheelchair? How can I now afford two kids on my own? How do I navigate life in a position I never thought I would see myself in?
While in the hospital and rehab, my newborn never left my side besides once a week when my aunt and uncle would take him for a night so I could get some rest. I can tell you right now that I wouldn’t have been able to make it this far without my village. Once I got to rehab, I would do my 3 hours of rehab together first thing in the morning so I could be attentive to my kids afterward. I worked my butt off to be as independent as possible. My daughter has been a gift sent from God when it comes to helping with my son and helping me navigate through life. Coming home from rehab, I decided not to have home health. Which left me pretty much on my own. “Now how in the world am I going to care for a 4-month-old and learn how to navigate as a paraplegic” I asked myself numerous of times. Sometimes I would cry because I’m limited to what I can do as a mother. How do I cope now with all this trauma? Five months after my injury - I decided to get help mentally. I got a therapist, one that understood me and my background, someone who could relate to my experiences. I had to get a (as we call it) chocolate therapist. No offense to anyone. If it wasn’t for my therapist Tori Seals, I would have never made it this far.