I’ve been paralyzed for 17 years, and I feel like I have my disability under control; there’s not much that I haven’t seen or that I can’t overcome.
The latest and arguably most consequential applications of my problem-solving are my pregnancy, having a newborn baby, and mothering from a wheelchair. In watching able-bodied mothers interact with their children, I’ve taken note of the limitations in front of me:
I’m not confident enough in my core to carry the baby across surfaces (bed to lap, lap to car seat, into highchair, etc.).
My back muscles won’t support lifting my baby off the ground.
I can’t reach over the side of a crib to lift the baby out or put it back in.
Baby can sit in my lap, but what if he/she falls off?
I can’t push a stroller while rolling my wheelchair, so how will we go on walks or in public?
Those questions hit me like a wrecking ball. That is, all at once and hard enough to knock me down. I haven’t dealt with insecurities around my disability for years and I thought I was past that stage in my recovery, but good grief. Pregnancy and motherhood brought it all back.
It took me a while to realize I’m not the first to do this; there are thousands of moms with disabilities who have already found the workarounds. My insecurities were all just problems to be solved, and most of them already had been.
My inability to move a baby across surfaces was at the top of my list. This is a big one because it means I couldn’t do much outside of wagging my fingers in his face while I waited for someone to help. For the solution, I discovered baby wrap blankets - specifically ones with handles. Wrap blankets allow me to snug baby in a blanket and move him wherever suits. I’ve already tried it on my dog, and she hates it, but we’re hoping for a more tolerant baby.