I’m officially calling for the death of the apology.
Unless you give your apologies some conscious thought, it’s very easy to fall into an “I’m sorry” act. Why is this so often the case? Saying “I’m sorry” is easy, it makes us feel better to faint regret and, sometimes, it might even satisfy the other person. Saying the words “I’m sorry” is an almost-effortless way of identifying our mistake, minimizing our guilt, and moving on.
If apologizing is so easy and it has all that effect, why not walk around as an Apology Robot, covering for all your mistakes and feeling good about yourself in the process? Well, because it’s not that easy. Your apologies, like the robot, are going to run out of battery.
That’s just a creative way to say: every “sorry” after your initial one loses meaning; after the second “I’m sorry,” your sincerity thins, and you run the risk of annoying everyone in earshot. Really.
So why am I picking on the apology so much? The answer: it’s tired.
I remember when I was in middle school in the ‘90s, back when the radio and $14 CDs were the only ways to listen to music. When an artist I liked, probably *NYSNC or Backstreet Boys, released a new single, the radio would play it once every hour, I bought the CD to play on repeat, and the chords became the foreground of my life – at least for the first week. After 7 consecutive days of repeated lyrics and squeaky voices from the boys, the song was no longer special and actually, I didn’t want to hear it at all.
Same thing goes for apologies. It’s sometimes necessary to apologize, but one time will do the trick. I’m sorrying” people to death will not only annoy everyone in earshot, but it also wastes time, that could be spent reaching a resolution. The solution to the Pandemic of Over-apologizing is to say “sorry” once then make the change, fix your mistake, or move on.
On a slightly sillier and less likely relatable note, there are many times when people unnecessarily apologize to me. Whether this happens because I, a young woman in a wheelchair, am a less common sight than my ambulatory peers and it makes people uncomfortable, or because they really are apologetic for so many things, is a wonder.