Why am I 43, and just now getting back into the dating pool? The water’s fine, really.
I previously dated a guy who used a wheelchair for 14 or so years in my 20s and 30s. We were good for about the first year. Please don’t think that I’m going to make this story Taylor Swift’s newest hit. I’m not here to bash him. We had fun, found things in common, and talked daily about everything, except politics and religion. We talked about what made us happy, and the frustrations we had in common that we could vent to one another about. That way, neither of us felt so alone. When our relationship started we helped each other, like I would remind him to pick up his medicine. However, as time went on, the balance in our relationship became uneven and I felt like I was giving more to the relationship, for example arranging all of our dates. After several years, I became tired of doing so much and not getting the same in return. I felt alone again and wondered how life would be different if I was in a new relationship or even one that was inter-abled and how my attitude towards dating would change if my efforts were reciprocated.
After breaking up with my ex, I spent about 4 years single. I started to wonder if there was something wrong with me. I was sad and depressed - much more than I remember being during the lockdown in 2020. Why am I alone, was an almost daily automatic question. Is it because I’m not good enough for anyone, or am I just at a point where I must accept that my ex was “as good as it gets'' and it was a mistake to leave and spread my proverbial wings? I gave up on finding someone.