In May of this year (2023), I graduated from Cal State University, Fullerton, with a Master of Science in Counseling and celebrated my 13th year living with a spinal cord injury. I finished my degree back in December but had to wait until spring to walk and celebrate finishing this degree I worked so hard for. It felt weird going back to my campus to graduate after not being there for five months. However, it was nice to see some of my old professors and classmates from my cohort. It felt like a mini reunion.
Finishing my master’s degree is something I never thought I would achieve. It still feels surreal to me sometimes. When I was in high school, before my injury, I never saw myself going to college. I was not an academic student growing up and didn't have the grades or finances to go to college. But looking back, I realized it was my mindset that was holding me back.
After my injury, I finished high school, threw all my eggs in one basket, and applied only to Cal State Fullerton. I received a wheelchair scholarship from Swim with Mike, who helps injured athletes go to college (I wrestled my freshman year). Five years later, I graduated with a degree in Human Services and became the first person in my immediate family to have a college degree. This was a huge accomplishment for me; little did I know it was just the beginning.
Fast forward four years, I completed my master's degree. These two huge achievements would have never happened had I not sustained my injury on that fateful day in 2010. May 31 will mark 13 years of living in a body that no longer works. That is 4,748 days of waking up every morning and having someone get me dressed and ready for the day. That is 4,748 days sitting down every day, all day.
Breaking my neck robbed me of part of my childhood. It took away my dignity. It took away all of my privacy, and it took away my manhood. My injury made me feel like my life was over before it even started. I was angry a lot in the beginning because it felt unfair, and I was frustrated. But I have learned that sometimes things happen in our life that we don't have any control over, and there are no answers to our questions.
It is unfortunate and heartbreaking but a part of life. One of the many life sessions I have learned from this injury is that life gets a lot better when you let go and accept the things that are out of your control. When traumatic events like these happen, we have two choices. We can give up, be angry and take our frustrations out on others and push people away. Or we can accept what happened, focus on moving forward, and create our own life.
I have shared this before, but I live by these three words: Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome. Sometimes the hard things we go through in life end up making us stronger. It is a hard pill to swallow for some, but in my experience over these past 13 years: Suffering. Produces. Perseverance.
I have gone on to accomplish goals I never thought possible. My injury has given my life purpose and meaning. Never give up. In the wise words of Nelson Mandela, "It always seems impossible until it's done".